You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
