She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
