Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
