i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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