I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize