how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
