and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
