Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
