Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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