So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
