she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
