I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
