Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
