uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize