their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
