can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
