Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
