yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
