Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize