He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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