Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
