Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
my phone needs a breathalizer
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize