I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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