my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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