Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
40s are totally the cure
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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