haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
