Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
