It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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