dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just saw a hot homeless man
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
