I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize