Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
