you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
