yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
