I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
