While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
