Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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