I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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