ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
