exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
