yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
