It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
