He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
