Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Still dying that you shit outside
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
