when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize