I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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