Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
