I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
