her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
