You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize