I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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