I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
