did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
