so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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