I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
