do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
