i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
