I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
