Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
