You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
