He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
