we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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