I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
