is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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