I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
